By the early Eighties, every kid had one. You could even get celebrity Weebles: Winnie The Pooh. Or Cookie Monster. It's a safe bet that a little girl called Britney got one, probably some time after her family moved from Mississippi to Louisiana, where she dreamed of being a gymnast and took her first dance classes at the age of five. Probably, though, if Britney had a Weeble, she'd have felt an empathy for it. She's a Sagittarian and all born under this sign know what it's like to bounce right back, no matter how hard life hits them. Some, indeed, get so good at bouncing back, they start falling over on purpose, just to see if they can recover. Not that Britney is entirely typical of her Sun sign. She has the Moon in Aquarius. That's good for 'emotional detachment'. It lets you switch your feelings off when they're getting too intense... though it also tends to be a reason why when they do finally come out, they erupt like a volcano.

I know about her Aquarian Moon because I know her time of birth. And I know that because her mum told it to my friend Barry who runs Equinox, the astrology shop in central London. One afternoon a few years back, Britney, her mum and her sister Jamie Lynn all came to Barry's store to get their computer charts cast. Barry says she looked even more beautiful, as she stood behind his counter, than she does in her pictures. No doubt Britney's horoscope warned her of a tough time ahead. No doubt she ignored it. Certainly she didn't get into an in-depth reading of her past, present and future. Nor alas, are we going to do that here... other than to say that her horoscope speaks of a very intense childhood. By this, I don't just mean a lot of effort performing for the camera. Something happened to or around her that she still has not processed. All that money and success has not helped her deal with that. And whatever it was, it has left her so scarred that she can't even cope with the magic of motherhood. That's deep damage. The planets, what's more, tell us her emotional roller coaster ride is not yet over. She's going to need professional help from a good analyst or counsellor before she can properly heal her wound. But, for what little comfort it brings, her career is quite safe. And actually, the worst of her recent journey through life's dark side is over.

Even if she wobbles and weebles more in the next couple of years, Britney won't ever fall so far down again!